Story Hour
A CAPTAIN KAZOO CHRISTMAS
Written by Gene B. Williams
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You’ve come to know Captain Kazoo and his parrot Repeet. He has recently written up the story of his life. You can read this fascinating story at captainkazoo.com. Be sure to stop by his store. Even if you don’t buy something, you’ll get to see some wonderful and historic kazoos.
It’s Christmas again. You might remember from last year, Glicker met Santa. Another time, Nicker helped Santa, or at least thought he did. You can also read the story of being snow bound at Christmas and much more in the Story Hour archives. While you’re enjoying this story, you can even have some great Christmas music. For now, this Christmas has four more who are to join in – Captain Kazoo and his parrot, Repeet – Santa – and a musical cricket! (Don’t forget that you can go to youtube and look up Captain Kazoo for lots and LOTS of fun – and visit his website at captainkazoo.com.)
For this story, you should all have kazoos. If you don’t, go to the end of this story to learn how to make one. Or, you can just pretend.
Little Glicker was so excited that she would have been twitching from head to toe … if she had toes (which she didn’t). She loved Christmas and everything about it. The lights, the food, the smells, the music, the snow …. Oh, my, the snow! Can you imagine what that’s like for a young sea dragon? (It doesn’t snow very often under the ocean.) She remembered that Nicker had told her about when he and Danny visited Marci in Michigan and went sliding in the snow.
Glicker wouldn’t have snow for Christmas, but she would have something even better.
“Santa is coming again!” Glicker said to herself. She’d met him last year, as you already know. She had such a great time – and I bet Santa was happy to have a young sea dragon sitting on his lap. (Wouldn’t you?)
This year was going to extra special because Captain Kazoo and his parrot, Repeet, were also coming. What a grand party it would be! Crackers and cookies (including those special peanut butter reindeer cookies from Lunch With Nicker) and cheese and pretzels and candies and a big bowl of punch and a bucket of oats for Santa’s Comet and grapes for Gordie and … Glicker remembered about when Repeet … got sick … so she made sure there were also some batteries on another plate, just for Repeet. She made sure that everything was ready and perfect.
Glicker, Danny and Nicker decorated the tree (with Emily making sure they didn’t get too silly with it). Then they decorated the room. Then they decorated each other. It was a bit messy, but a whole lot of fun. All three used silver tinsel as hair. They looked a little like shiny mops. Danny had a string of popcorn around his neck. Glicker chose a string of cranberries as her necklace. Nicker decided that a better idea was to have a small wreath on top of his head. Both Danny and Glicker began to laugh. Nicker looked so silly with silver streams of hair under a “hat” of pine twigs and cones.
He got it on just in time for a sound at the door. In came Captain Kazoo with Repeet on his shoulder, and Santa shortly behind. (Comet was still outside, where reindeer usually belong.)
“Merry Christmas,” said Captain Kazoo.
“MerryChristmasMerryChristmas,” repeated Repeet.
“Ho ho ho,” said Santa.
“Hohohohohohoho,” repeated Repeet.
As Santa gave out candy canes, Captain Kazoo handed out kazoos to everyone. Even Gordie got one. “It’s easy,” said Captain Kazoo. “All you have to remember is to hum, not blow. You’ll be an expert in no time!” And they were – all except Gordie. (Tortoises have a hard time humming.) Within a little while, they were all humming Christmas songs … except Gordie. Captain Kazoo had thought ahead. He brought a purple kazoo for Gordie – purple like a grape. That helped a little, but a tortoise mouth isn’t meant to hold a kazoo. It kept falling out.
Bzzee bzzish yzzzou zzz Merzzzrzzy Chrizzzzzzmazzz hummed all the others.
From Gordie came phhttttt phhhtttt … plop. His purple kazoo fell on the floor.
Frozzzzztzzz zzz snzzzzmazzzz hummed all the others.
From Gordie came phhtttttt phhhtttt … plop on the floor. Each time, Gordie got more and more sad. He couldn’t hold that purple kazoo in his mouth. He couldn’t hum. Poor Gordie was a very unhappy tortoise.
After several more songs (Rudozzzzzf the Redzzzz Nozzzzzz Reinzzzzdzzzr, Izzzzz Dreazzzzming of a Whitzzzzzzzz Chrizzzzzmzzzzz, and so on) Santa said, “I have one more surprise for all of you. It’s mostly a special present for Captain Kazoo. And it will cheer you up, too Gordie.” He reached into his big red coat and got out a small bamboo box. Inside was a cricket. To everyone’s surprise – especially for Captain Kazoo – the cricket had a tiny kazoo. Santa carefully placed the cricket by the fireplace. There it immediately began to make music with its kazoo.
Deckzzzz thzz Hallzzzzzz
Felizzzzzz Navzzzzizzzvad
“It’s a cricket on the hearth,” said Captain Kazoo with a smile.
“It’s … a HUM bug!” said Danny.
Gordie said, “Even a CRICKET can play a kazoo?” He looked sadly at his own purple kazoo on the floor. “I’ll just go home.”
As he crawled toward the door, Glicker got a very big smile. She had an idea. “Gordie, don’t leave yet – and don’t be sad.” She went into the kitchen, squashed some grapes into a bowl and came back. When she came back, she dipped Gordie’s purple kazoo into the purple squashed grapes and held it out to him.
Gordie sniffed it. He licked a little. Then he opened his mouth wide to get the whole end of the kazoo into his mouth. It was GOOD! Gordie said, “Mmmmmm”
The kazoo said, “Hmmmmmzzzzzzzzz.”
“He’s HUMMING,” shouted Glicker.
“I’m HUMMING,” said Gordie.
Well, he wasn’t humming very well, but at least the kazoo was buzzing … a little.
Danny ran to get more grapes to squash. (He thought of getting some squash, because Gordie loves to eat squash, but although he knew how to squash grapes he didn’t know how to grape squash – but YOU can learn how in Lunch With Nicker.)
Gordie was happy again. “Grapes,” said Gordie.
“Grapesgrapes,” said Repeet.
“Yes, grapes grapes,” said Gordie.
“Grapesgrapes grapesgrapes,” repeated Repeet.
This might have gone on for hours. Gordie loves grapes, even the word – and Repeet loves to repeat, no matter what the word is. It could have ended up …
“Grapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapesgrapes.”
Go ahead and read that as Gordie would. Then be Repeet and repeat it twice. (Count the number of “grapes” first so you get it right.) Be sure you wiggle your head and flap your arms for the Repeet part of it.
With the help of the squashed grapes, it wasn’t long before Gordie was able to hum along, at least a little. He still phhhttted now and then, but mostly bzzzzzed.
Ohzzz Zzzhrizzztmzzzz treezzz, ohzzz zzzhrizzzmzzzz treezzzzz
After several more songs (Rudozzzzzf the Redzzzz Nozzzzzz Reinzzzzdzzzr, Izzzzz Dreazzzzming of a Whitzzzzzzzz Chrizzzzzmzzzzz, and so on), Gordie was getting happier and happier. He got so happy that he laughed. Have you ever heard a tortoise laugh? Neither had anyone else, not even Santa. It’s very rare, and very strange. Well … as Gordie laughed, the kazoo popped out of his mouth and flew across the room and landed under the Christmas tree. At first it startled everyone. They looked at each other, at Gordie, then at the purple kazoo under the tree.
What else could they do? They all began to laugh. That included Santa’s booming “Ho ho ho!” and RePeet trying to repeat all the laughing. This got Gordie to laugh again, which got the others to laugh, which got Gordie to laugh …. (I’m not sure, but I think even the cricket was laughing.) Well, it was a while before there was any more music.
After a while, though, they hummed songs, ate treats, hummed and ate and hummed and ate. Danny squashed grapes, and Emily even made graped squash – BOTH kinds.
This went on and on and on. Finally, Glicker fell asleep beneath the Christmas tree. Captain Kazoo’s cricket was snoozing in his bamboo box. Repeet seemed to have pretty much worn out his batteries. Santa and Captain Kazoo were sipping one more cup of hot chocolate and talking about the coming year … and Santa showed Captain Kazoo a couple pages from his list (and Captain Kazoo checked it twice, too).
With some jingling of bells, Santa left with Santa’s Comet. It was also time for Captain Kazoo to leave. As he left he said, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.” He paused a moment then said, “Remember. Hum – don’t blow!”
Repeet said, “Hum – don’t blow! Hum – don’t blow.”
A SPECIAL BONUS
You and your friends can have a Christmas party of your own, complete with Khristmas Kazoo Karols (or Christmas Cazoo Carols, if you prefer). Here is a handful of videos to give you a start.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl8boOIH71g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVFLCurn8kk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN67C2nhV7E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-juZN9DlYjw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKnq2rTS0To
MAKE A KAZOO
On Your Page you can find how to make a kazoo of your own. This video also shows you how.
ANOTHER SPECIAL BONUS
Danny knew how to squash grapes, but not how to grape squash. But Emily knows several ways. You can find out how in Lunch With Nicker.
Did you like this story? If so, please send us a note to tell us. Then tell your friends to come visit Nicker Stories.
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