Story Hour
A Fairy Tail
Written by Gene B. Williams
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I’m taking a vacation, and I’m not here. I’m not even typing this because I’m not here, see. So Nicker is sitting in for me. This issue, Nicker will tell you a fairy tale for National Fairy Tale Day. Just what it is about... I’ll leave that up to you to figure out. Maybe Mom and Dad can help? I can’t because I’m not here. Maybe this is world’s first. You’re about to be told a fairy tale by a real, live sea dragon. I can bet that reading it through just once will be confusing.
To get through this could take hours! DAYS!
NOTE TO PARENTS: I’m not here, but I still counted at least 19 mixed up fairy tales and nursery rhymes. The kids may not know them all, so it’s up to you. Here’s the list I came up with (not being here). How many do your kids know? Just think of all the stories YOU can tell them. Once they know all the stories … come back and read Nicker’s version of a fairy tale again.
Frog Prince Jack and the Beanstalk Thumbelina Princess and the Pea Wizard of Oz Cinderella Alice in Wonderland Billy Goats Gruff Little Miss Muffet Pinocchio Red Riding Hood Hansel and Gretel Goldilocks Three Little Pigs Humpty Dumpty Snow White Sleeping Beauty Rapunzel
NOTE TO THE KIDS! Yes, that means YOU! Nicker isn’t very good at drawing. He wants YOU to make drawings for this story. Send them right to Nicker!
Nicker Stories
18521 E. Queen Creek Rd.
Suite 105, #603
Queen Creek, AZ 85142
One day a troll came from under a bridge and grumbled, “Fee fie foe fum, I have a sore on my thumb!”
So Mary looked at the thumb and it looked like a tiny little girl in a ballet costume who had a sore on her back from sleeping on a pea all night. She told the ogre, “If we go on the Yellow Brick Road, I bet the Wizard will fix your thumb.”
The three of them – Mary, the ogre (whose name was Fred … or maybe it was Wilbur … but SOMEONE is named Fred) and his thumb (named Belina) went off to see the Wizard. He lived in a green castle. It was sea dragon green! And Mary had a red glass slipper that the prince had given her at the big dance at school. She lost the other one. I think it fell down a rabbit hole or something.
They came to a scarecrow who was sitting on a mushroom with his invisible cat named Sophie. And the troll said … no, wait, isn’t Fred an ogre? What’s the difference between a troll and an ogre? Do you know? Okay. Let’s just call him Fred and leave it at that.
Now where was I?
Oh, yes – Fred said to the mushroom, “Do you know the way to the Sea Dragon City where the Wizard can fix my thumb (named Belina)?” But, mushrooms almost never answer, so the scarecrow did instead.
“Sometimes you go this way,” he said, “and sometimes you go that way.” Then he fell off the mushroom and into a big bowl of curds and whey (whatever that is – I think it’s cottage cheese) and scared a spider who had been playing cards with a little girl sitting on a tuffet (whatever that is).
After they went to the car wash to get the scarecrow cleaned up, they got back to the Yellow Brick Road and met a little boy made of wood. “Which way to the Wizard?” they asked. The little boy pointed to the left and said, “That way,” and his nose grew, so they knew to go to the right, and off they went.
Next they came to a big forest where a big bad wolf was chasing a squeaky robot and a little girl wearing a red cape like Superman. Maybe they were looking for a dentist because she kept shouting, “What big teeth you have!” Then the witch jumped on top of her gingerbread house and was shooting fireworks.
Just then Mary’s godmother (the Mary Godmother?) popped out of the magic lamp and turned her into a frog. No, wait, that’s not right. Mary already was a frog. So, I guess the godmother saw this, clonked herself on the head with the wand and disappeared.
The big bad wolf began to sing, “We’re off to see the Lizard …” and they all skipped down the Yellow Brick Road until they came to a cabin where a girl with curly blonde hair was serving porridge at a table with three bears on one side, and three pigs on the other. A strange little man in a funny hat was pouring tea for everyone, except for those who wanted something else.
“I want hot chocolate,” said the big bear, “but not too hot.”
“I’d like some ice cream,” said the middle bear, “but not too cold.”
Suddenly, a large egg sitting on a wall had a great fall, and all the kings horses and all the kings men, with Snow White and a bunch of dwarves carrying apples … made the place very crowded so Mary and her friends hopped off down the Yellow Brick Road again. As they left they heard the little bear say, “Bring me some scrambled eggs.”
A sign said, “Thorny Forest This Way – See the Sleeping Beauty – Just $1.25.” They could see a man in a metal suit. He must have been the gardener because he was chopping at the thorns. In the tower a girl was throwing her hair out the window. A guy at the bottom kept yelling, “Re-pretzel, Re-pretzel, give me your hair,” so she was.
Then in the distance they saw the golden arches. Mary got hungry for some French flies and hopped away in a hurry. Her red glass slipper made a terrible clanking on the yellow bricks. I don’t know why it didn’t break. Soft bricks, I guess.
They got in the city and met the Wizard, not the Lizard, because he was on vacation. And the Wizard got into his blimp and flew away. Since she lived on a lily pad, Mary had never flown in a blimp, so she wanted to cry. Then there a poof, and a lot of smoke, and a shiny balloon that turned into the Mary Godmother, waving her wand. She looked at the one red glass slipper Mary was wearing and said, “Oh … it takes two slippers to work. Sorry. Bye.” And she clonked herself on the head with the wand and was gone with more smoke and noise.
Well, Mary was at her wit’s end. She knew it because a big sign said, “You Are Here at Wit’s End.” So she opened up a scuba shop and taught frogmen. And they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
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